Essay Football Match School Bus
Earlier we discussed what to avoid when writing your "Why This College" college application essays. Today, let's get positive and talk about what should be in there by using some examples.
DO: Think of this as a "Why we are perfect for each other" essay.
Imagine you're on a date and the person sitting across from you leans in to ask, "So, why do you like me?" You can't just say, "Because you're hot." You're gonna need to be a little more specific. How do you do this? Here’s how:
DO: Fold a piece of paper in half to create two columns, then at the top label one "What I want" and the other "What they have."
As you're researching the school, bullet-point 10-15 specific, concrete reasons why you and the school are a great match for one another.
So, for example, if the school has a music and medicine program, put that in the right column. Next to it, in the left column, say why that's the perfect program for you. Or maybe you're interested in studying Chinese? Put that it in the left column and then look for something related to learning Chinese that the school offers--either academically or extracurricularly (an actual word but don't use it in your essay)--and put that it in the right column. How does this help? It takes your essay from:
"Michigan's well-known legacy, its fantastic football team and spectacular location in Ann Arbor are just a few reasons why I believe UM is the place for me." #supergeneric
"I look forward to Academic Argumentation (225) and Professional Writing (229), as I believe these courses will provide me with a firm basis in journalistic writing technique and improve my abilities to write analytically and develop well-supported arguments. Furthermore, the Professional Writing course will teach me how to write in a concise, straightforward style, a skill vital to a journalist." #likeaboss
See what he's done there in this Why This College example?
DO: Mention specific classes, professors, clubs and activities that you will actually be excited about being a part of.
And don't BS it. Imagine yourself on campus as a freshman. What are you doing? What conversations are you having? How are you involved? I want to say "You can't get too specific," although I'm sure you could if you try... On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being "I want to be involved in all the campus activities!” and 10 being "There was a particular student's dorm window I looked in during the campus walking tour and I saw her reading a Microecon book and drinking a Strawberries Wild from Jamba Juice--my favorite--and I thought--" (Slow down, creeper. And how did you know what flavor it was??) Anyway, keep it at like a 7 or an 8. And make sure all your details are relevant and appropriate. Here's a good gauge to know what’s relevant and appropriate. Ask:
- Am I showing that I've done my research?
- Am I demonstrating my intelligence?
- Am I connecting what they have to with what I have?
If you’re doing all three, keep it in. If you’re not doing any of these, consider cutting. And I know I said that third thing already, but it's worth repeating: often students only say why the school is awesome. But remember that this essay is not about why the school is awesome. The school knows it’s awesome; the admissions readers spend a lot of their time telling students like you why it's awesome.
DO: Remember this is another chance to show a few more of your skills/talents/interests/passions.
Make a list of 10 things you definitely want the school to know about you. Ask yourself: are all these values/qualities in my main essay or another supplement? If not, the "Why This School" may be a place to include a few more details about who you are. But remember: connect it to some awesome opportunity/program/offering at or near the school.
Okay, I said I was finished but here's one more: If the school doesn't have a particular program/opportunity you're looking for, don't freak out. Look at this not as a dead end, but as an opportunity.
The Firs School, Chester travelled down the North Wales coast to take on our old rivals in Abbey Gate College and Rydal Penrhos, in the first fixture of the year participating in Football and Hockey. Anticipating some tough matches, as they always are, the children were excited as they boarded the coach joined by Mr Girvan and Miss Roberts.
“Throughout the afternoon both Football teams played very well, leading to a 2-0 victory against Rydal and a 1-0 win against Abbey Gate College for the U11 team. The U9s did equally as well with a 5-2 victory verses Abbey Gate College and a 6-2 win against Rydal for the, rounding off a very successful afternoon! With lots of positives shown and a few things to work on, we’re all really excited for our next set of fixtures!” Mr Girvan
“Considering this was out first match of the year (or ever for some of the girls); the children played so well and showed such fantastic resilience, determination and teamwork skills. We took a little while to pick up steam but by our last game were on top form and managed to get a good win; 3-1. Well done girls. I look forward to our future fixtures.” Miss Roberts
Match Reports from the Children
On Tuesday the 26th of September, the school bus came to pick us up from The Firs to take us to a football tournament at Rydal to play them and Abbey Gate College. We won both games! Although they were hard games, we managed to get good results in both, beating Abbey Gate College 5-2 and Rydal 6-2.
All of the players did very well and it shows what good footballers we have in Year 3 and 4. I played with Freddie and Beau and Evan also came from 4R and Ewan, Frankie, Oz, William and Oliver played from Year 3.
Man of the match: 1st game Harry, 2nd game Beau.
The Year 5 and 6 team also travelled to Rydal with the U9s and hockey players. It was a successful afternoon winning both of our matches, against very tough opponents. We managed to beat Rydal 2-0. After a short break, we played Abbey Gate. The Abbey Gate game was very tough, and it went all the way to the last minute goalless. Then, Connor took a shot and managed to get it in to give us the victory! We played the whole afternoon without conceding a goal!
All of the players did very well and again, it shows what a strong school team we have this year. The players were John and I from 5D and Connor, Sam E, Ben, Paris, Robert, Iggy, Alexander and Callum from Year 6.
Captain: 1st game Ben, 2nd game Connor
Man of the match: 1st game Ben, 2nd game Connor
The Firs School, Chester has been awarded a Gold Sports Mark award, for more information on the Sport offered at The Firs School click here.